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Monday, July 31, 2006

Spammer Humor

First person: Do you know how to save five spammers who are drowning?
Second person: No.
First person: Good!

You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and a spammer. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?
You shoot the spammer. Twice.

What is the ideal weight of a spammer?
About three pounds, including the urn.

A man walked into a pub with his crocodile and asked the barman, 'Do you serve spammers here?'
'Sure do,' replied the barman.
'Good,' said the man. 'Give me a beer, and I'll have a spammer for my 'croc.''

What’s the difference between a spammer and an onion?
You cry when you cut up an onion.

How do you get a spammer out of a tree?
Cut the rope.

Why have scientists begun to use spammers instead of lab rats for research?
1. spammers are more plentiful.
2. They are easier to train.
3. Researchers don’t get attached to them.
4. There are some things a rat won’t do.

A man walking on the beach came across an odd-looking bottle. Not being one to ignore tradition, he rubbed it and, much to his surprise, a genie actually appeared.
"For releasing me from the bottle,
I will grant you three wishes," said the genie.
"But there's a catch," the genie continued. "For each of your wishes, every spammer in the world will receive double what you asked for."
First, the man wished for a Ferrari. POOF! A Ferrari appeared in front of him. "Now, every spammer in the world has been given two Ferraris," said the genie.
"What is your next wish?"
"I could really use a million dollars." replied the man, and POOF! One million dollars appeared at his feet.
"Now, every spammer in the world is two million dollars richer," the genie reminded the man, and then asked him for his third wish.
The man thought for a minute and said, "Well, I’ve always wanted to donate a kidney."

What's the difference between a spammer and a trampoline?
You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline!

When spammers die, why are they buried in a hole 24 feet deep?
Because down deep, they are all nice guys.

What’s the difference between a spammer and a terrorist?
Terrorists have sympathizers.

What do you call a busload of spammers at the bottom of a lake?
... a good start.

What's the difference between spammers and sperm?
... one in 3 billion sperm have a chance to become a human.

What's the difference between a spammer and a catfish?
... one is a scum-sucking bottom dweller, and the other's a fish.

what's the difference between a dead dog in the middle of the road and a dead spammer in the middle of the road?
... there are skid marks before the dog.

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